Perspective...

Good evening lovees!! Whew, what a long day!! Thankful for it though! I pray I was able to be a blessing somewhere in the midst of my day.

As many of you have read, I took a fall last week. I'm not gonna lie, it hurt!! And, it scared me, truly! But the old adage is true, if you fall, you must get back up and ride again. So, I did. I rode my beautiful horse back to the barn and let those who know her best put her away so she could rest. Tomorrow will be one week since my fall. Here's what I've learned....

When we fall, though it may hurt, it's only temporary. The pain from my fall caused no major damage. Well, ok, maybe it damaged my pride quite a bit...lol! But the bottom line is, I wasn't hurt so badly that it caused anything permanent. I wasn't paralyzed as others have been from a fall. I didn't suffer any drain bamage....I mean brain damage, LOL! More importantly, my child wasn't harmed either as part of my fall. My horse didn't suffer any major injuries. Nor did the others on my ride. I can choose to sit back and be angry, or I can take this opportunity to praise God and be thankful!

Thank you God for protecting me. Thank you God for the amazing friends who were there for me when I fell. Thank you God for my loves who took such good care of me and pampered me. Thank you God for watching over my child while I was out of it directly after my fall. Thank you God for keeping the horses calm while this all took place in front of them. Thank you God for your love and Grace through this and other trials I have faced recently! Thank you God....

Beloved, we can take each and every  circumstance we are faced with and turn around into praise. It's all about perspective. I know I've spoke about this before. When last year's pants don't fit be thankful you had food to eat...many don't. When you hear a baby crying and it annoys you...be thankful it's not yours, LOL! And be thankful you can hear! Our lives are not perfect, we all face struggles daily! But I believe if we turn them around and look at them from a positive perspective, we might all be a little happier. 

Have a blessed evening friends!!! Sleep sweet tonight.

Love and hugs...

Selfishness...

Good afternoon lovees!! Such a beautiful day! Thank you God for giving me this day! Thank you God for my blessings galore. Thank you God for your unselfish love for me...

Selfishness....the dictionary describes it as such...devoted to or caring only for oneself. Concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc. regardless of others. How many of us know folks like this? We all do, let's just admit it. We all know someone, or several someones who only think solely of themselves! They have absolutely no regard for the needs of others.  And will only ever be takers, not givers. How many if us are guilty if being the selfish one? Oh, now there's a tough one. Hard to admit a fault like that...

Selfishness has no place in relationships. Thus, why selfish people struggle in them. These types of individuals only want what they can take from a relationship, they have no desire to give. It's about their schedule, their aches and pains, and their burdens. It's about their needs, desires, wants, etc. Oh they might fulfil a need of yours every once in a while, but only if it doesn't take away from what you can do for or give to them. Selfish folks often times don't know any better. Maybe they were raised by selfish parents and no one ever taught them differently. Maybe, things have happened in their life that have caused them to be selfish by default. Either way, it's a character flaw that needs worked on.

Being raised in a Christian home, many of my values come from the Bible. The Bible says this about selfishness....Philippians 2:4 - Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. We are not to be looking at self. We are to be looking at others to try and be a help, a blessing. The Bible also says this...
Galatians 6:2 - Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Can you imagine the world we would live in if folks followed just these two simple principles???? It would be incredible!

Maybe today, you find yourself guilty of being selfish. Maybe, today, you find yourself the victim of someone else's selfishness. Forgive them. Forgive yourself. If you're the selfish one, I challenge you today to focus on the above statements and make a change. I promise you, it will be so fulfilling for you when you start to meet the needs of others. It will change you completely. If you've been victim, perhaps it's time for you to make changes as well. Maybe it's time to walk away. Or have a talk with the person causing you to be victim. Maybe you need to look inside yourself and ask why do I allow this? Whatever the case may be, I pray for you to have the strength to make the changes necessary for your well being.

Have a blessed day friends!! Go out there today and be a blessing!!

Love and hugs...

I say, you hear...

Good afternoon lovees!! HaPpY Monday!! As I lie here resting, listening to the rain, so many thoughts run through my head. But I want to focus on one, misunderstanding.

Ever play the game telephone?? That's a silly fun game, isn't It? And it teaches a lesson doesn't it. That things don't always get interpreted properly. It's so easy to get things misunderstood when playing this game. Much like in real life....

One of my favorite sayings is this....I'm responsible for what I say, not what you hear. That brings to mind another "game" I like to call he/she says, he/she hears. Ever say something to someone and later on that person is angry and you can't figure out why? Only to find out they misheard your words? Like a wife may say to a husband...I wish you didn't have to work, I need some time with you, I miss you. What she meant, I miss my man and wish I could have more time. What he heard, I hate that you are working and ignoring me and that your job means more. How about when a husband says to his wife...my mom makes the best lasagna. Yes, I know that's a silly reference. But, here's what happens...he literally was just saying he loves his mom's lasagna. What she hears is...you'll never measure up to my mom in the kitchen.

Both of the above scenarios have the potential to end badly. Because in both, the parties involved are hurt. And what do hurt people do? They hurt people. Intentially or not, it happens. These scenarios have the potential to rip apart a great relationship if not resolved. But if we can learn to use our words, and communicate when we hear something a little differently than what was said, we can save a whole lot of unnecessary hurt and anger. After all, communication is one of the most vital parts of a working relationship, is it not?

Next time you're faced with one of these situations, try using your words. Try asking questions to see if what you heard is actually what was said. You may find that you overreacted to something that just wasn't there. It's not always about winning. It's about the relationship and the needs of those within.

Have a blessed day friends!!!

Love and hugs...

Deposits and withdrawals, checks and balances...

Good morning lovees!!! Another beautiful day on the horizon!! Another day given to be thankful for! Another day full of opportunities to be a blessing!!

I talk to a lot of people during the week. And we talk about a bunch of different subjects, one of which is relationships. Specifically romantic relationships. And, well, here lately, it has got me thinking...

How many of you have jobs where a 401k retirement fund is offered? How many of those are company matched 401k plans? In a company matched 401k plan, what happens? Typically, your company will match your investment dollar for dollar. When this happens, what does this do for your retirement? It creates a greater return on your investment. Right? Essentially, it doubles your return. Relationships kind of work the same way!

When there are two people investing into the relationship, there's a greater return. Both parties are satisfied and the relationship can be considered equal or balanced if you will. But what happens when one person is investing more? What happens when one person is making all the effort? Then things become a little complicated.

Unbalanced relationships will leave one person's love tank low or even empty!! It will eventually "bankrupt" the one doing all the investing or even bankrupt the whole relationship.  How so? Well, think of it like a bank account. When there is more being taken out than what is being deposited, what happens? There's an overdraft. And with that comes what?? Headache!! You cannot withdraw more from a relationship than you're putting in. It won't last!! Oh it'll work for a while, because your partner is willing to sustain it. But when that partner is drained from carrying the relationship along, they will start making their own withdrawal...from the whole relationship!

So, how do you keep things...balanced?? Both parties have to make deposits!! But I don't like to or I don't know how to...fill in the blank. Doesn't matter!! If it matters to your partner, and they're willing to do so much for you, then you learn!!!!! As the saying goes, life begins at the end of your comfort zone!!! Step on out! Make the effort!! Match your partners effort! Cook THEM breakfast in bed for once, heck, just cook em breakfast! Mow the yard for your partner! Do the laundry. Make a snack for your mate while they're working on the car. Write a little note and put on the pillow, or in his/her lunchbox. Send a card. Send flowers.  Go the extra mile for your partner! They're worth it. Your relationship is worth it.

Whatever it is, be it a big gesture or small, DO IT!!!! I promise, you will see a return on your investment! It may not be immediately. But when your partner sees that you are consistently make deposits instead of withdrawals, they will indeed appreciate your effort and balance it out.

Have a blessed day friends!! Enjoy the sun!!

Love and hugs...

Cleaning house...

Good morning lovees!!! There's a beautiful day on the horizon, I can feel it!!

What do you do when you can't sleep? Clean!! Lol!! It's so therapeutic to clean and reorganize things!! Sometimes in our lives we need to clean and reorganize! Perhaps we are surrounded by toxic people. Maybe you're stuck in a bad relationship.  Is your job giving you more headaches than its worth? Maybe it's time to evaluate these areas. Do some "cleaning" of your own.

I'm not saying to go thru Facebook and delete a bunch of people. Or start throwing away repairable relationships. What I am saying is it's ok to remove toxicity from your life!! Toxic friends, toxic jobs, toxic intimate relationships. Toxicity is like poison! There is nothing healthy about poison! And you darn sure don't need it in your life!!

I challenge you to take a look at these things and see, can you repair anything, or is it time to detox?? Have a blessed day friends!! The weekend is almost here!! Woohoo!!

Love and hugs...

Hope...

Good morning lovees!! It's a beautiful day!!

As I sit here today thinking of all that is going on in my own life, I realize it's nothing. It's nothing compared to what someone else woke up to today. Someone, somewhere woke up to the news that they lost a loved one. Someone, somewhere is waking up to the realization of the devastating news they received about their health yday. Someone, somewhere is concerned with how they're going to feed their family due to a recent job loss.  There are so many hurting people out there!!

My friends, I tell you, it can always, always be worse than what you are currently going thru!! And understand, I'm not trying to minimize anything that you are going thru!! I just want you to know that you don't walk alone!! There are so many other people going thru things.

If you woke up this morning with a heartbeat, please, please know, there is hope!! The God above ain't done with you yet!! So get up, get dressed and face the day!! When you are running out of strength, lean on someone stronger, a friend, a relative or better yet, the great Almighty! If He can hold the moon in place at night, He can surely hold you up daily!!

Have a blessed day friends!!! Know that you are loved today!!

Love and hugs...

Edification

Good afternoon lovees!!! Such a beautiful day today!! I just love summer weather!!! Thank you God for the beauty of the sun/Son!!

Edification...what a beautiful gesture! And yet, how many of us practice it? The dictionary describes it as this...to instruct or benefit, especially morally or spiritually; uplift. I believe to edify someone is one of the kindest, most loving gestures we can show one another. When done within the bounds of a relationship, it can truly change the dynamics and bring two people incredibly close....in my opinion.

So what does edification look like? It can be a gesture, it can be words spoken, it can be touch, it can look like whatever you deem appropriate. Holding a door for someone or even carrying their bags is a form of edification. Taking a chore off someone's plate is a form of edification. There are many ways to edify someone.

Now, let's talk within the bounds of a relationship. I'm a bit old fashioned myself, so hang on to your hats as I proceed here...lol.

LADIES, I believe that a man should be treated as a king within the home. Even if you're just dating. I believe that the man should find his home a place of refuge and want for nothing once he walks through the door. I believe that in doing this, it does a few things...1, it allows him to know that you have his back. 2, it encourages him. 3, it shows him he's your priority. 4, it should empower him to know that you will take care of him at all times.

MEN, if you've found a rare gem that will treat you in such a way as this, then by George, you had better treat her as your queen!! Give back to her all that she gives to you! Suffer through the ballet and the mall. Suffer through a tearful conversation and allow her to just be. Tuck a card or a note in her handbag. Text her just because and let her know you're thinking of her. Give her your time.

Ladies and gentleman, I believe if we treated each other the way I have described above, we would have less to fight amongst ourselves about! Let's start edifying each other! Lift each other up! Love one another!!

Have a blessed day friends!!!

Love and hugs...